You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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