Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
