Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
