She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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