What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
