My hand turned me down
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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