Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
