Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize