I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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