I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dear god my vagina.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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