Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
