she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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