someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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