this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
