Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
