guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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