And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
