I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i will never coherently bang her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
