If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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