I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
