P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
