I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
