doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
