Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
