Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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