just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize