Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
