so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize