She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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