She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
