Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
