It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
