I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize