I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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