I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
