I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize