i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
