So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
