Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Jerry, you need to find god
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
