We named our party play list daddy issues
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
