chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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