god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
