ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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