Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
