Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
