Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
