I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
