remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
