She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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