ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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