Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
