i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
