i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
