How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize