I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
