it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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