my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You're like the curious george of whores
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
FUCK WHALES
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
