go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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